Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Oprah: Whaaat, is the deeeal, with her?

What's up with the vomity voice death metal thing you hear way too much of these days? Shay J. says this is the best vomity voice death metal song ever, and he should know. You're going to have to wait for a while to get to the vomity part, but it's pretty hilarious so crank it loud wherever you are (I'm talking to you, Cap'n Creamsicle).

There are literally hundreds of bands whose singers do this throat-shredding guttural growl, the adult version of "Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrance." How did it start? Who was the pioneer of vomity voice? Did a lead singer in a death metal band say "Hey guys, I'm going to try something new, tell me what you think." And no one laughed?

One of the benefits of vomity voice is that you can't understand the lyrics at all, which prevents mom and dad from hearing the nauseatingly demonic things that perfect strangers are whispering in the ears of their children. I imagine there's a lot of death and gloom, and probably a fair amount of satanism. Shay says the language of such people should be called metalibonics.

Maybe there's a metal dictionary out there that's not about actual metals, but I can't find it.

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